Puzzled...

Seriously say I'm very puzzle about what happen yesterday. And now I think there is something going on internally where I got no idea of what is going on. Whatever it is I'm not going to give a damn about it. As I've promise, since I didn't get something I shall put 100%of concentration on my studies. Told almost everyone who was there yesterday. Don't think I'm doing a wrong thing or move but in fact I felt very relieve that I had made up my mind in putting all effort and concentration on studies.

Don't think my present is appreciated at all place including CCA so there is no point for me to stay on and do all the stuff with my full effort when it's not being appreciated. Not trying to say I'm going to give up but I'm stating that no matter what I do NO ONE ever say well done or good job but instead it's kind ofbeing treated like a rubbish where everyone take it for granted fine with me. Since all the things I do with all my heart are being treated like rubbish what's the point of me to continue doing it whole-heartedly.

Believe it or not

Recently many things happen not nice things but all are just crap stuff. First thing is that YQ's birthday they went celebrating her birthday without asking me along and that is how they treat me, just because I'm in he other class.

Friday night I cry myself to sleep feeling so left out by my dear close friends and feel that no one is concern about me and my whereabout not only this they are just kind of don't really bother about how I feel and make me feel more like being a unwelcomed person. Sometimes I feel like just let me get knock down by a car and you people don't have to worry about be going for your parties anot since I'm so unpresentable.

Now I can only rely on my radio where it is my companion for most of my journey to school and back home sometimes even school outing. What to do when my dear friend go for celebration without me.

Don't think much people know how I actually feel most of the time coz whenever they see me. I'm always with a cheerful look on the face but did you people ever come and find out how I feel. NO no one ever did even if I put a fake smile on my face no one ever know how I feel.

I'm Being Feelingless...

Is there such word feelingless or should I say emotionless. Francis say that I'm trying to be like Kong Wee if I'm trying my best to have no feeling for everyone. I don't know, I only know that the day Isaw him I try my best to kind of piss him off and act as if I'm in very good life -phew- think I'm just don't know what I'm thinking also.

He didn't talk to me not even see me with the right eye who cares man. He hurt me so deeply that leave a scare in my life which I'll never forget about it. Q.M. say that I'm purely jealous of him but to tell the truth I'm not but just don't know what I'm thinking.

Anyway don't know who the person who keep on tagging my tag board. Then what I love you... don't play gussing game.

Recently quite unlucky keep on falling. Had my third great fall today. Don't quite believe that it's a good year for dragon cause I keep on having down luck. The first time I fall this year is on first day of new year. The second time I fall is during PE lesson 2 weeks ago. And the third time is today what the hell and it's also the third time I fall this term-cum-second time I fall in school.

Got back my result slip today don't know how the system calculate. Calculate till my L1R4 17points. But then if calculate for 'N' Level to go for Sec5 it will be 4 points hehe that's great. But Mrs Ali ask me when am I going to score for her humanatilies lolz then I say just get a band 3 for it I'll be damn happy.

What's In My Mind

Yesterday don't know is lucky or what I manage to took a look at Beng. He is still the same not much changes, just that he become a little fatter and shorter maybe I grow taller.

Today in the bus 29 I've been thinking quite a lot of stuff about someone. Especially the way someone treat me after that incident. Don't know what is he up to. Anyway that person have been trying to piss me off quite often wonder what is he up to.

Val saw some stuff in my handphone don't know what she will say cause when she open my inbox she saw 1 whole list of messages from someone okay not sure what she will do, her reaction is nothing for what I saw. So I don't know and I don't care also.

My Mistake

Now playing is Cannon In D my favourite tune. Listening to this song can make me think of lots of things if I can play this tune by myself on the piano I'll not keep on asking somebody to play it yesterday.

Have been thinking about what happen yesterday the whole of last night. Think it's a big mistake to know somebody and even to meet that person, I don't know. For me, I don't judge a person good or bad by look, but I don't know if the person will judge me by my look and figure. I admit that I'm neither pretty nor slim but that is me. "Like" me for what I am, not who I am that is what i can say. Because I meet you for what you are not who you are.

I also don't know what I'm saying think I'm a little out of my mind...